A NOTE FROM THE PROCRASTIVITY NICHEPERT
What is your definition of success, and of failure? Do your significant other, siblings, friends, and colleagues all share those same definitions, or do they differ? I’d guess you’d get different versions from each person you ask. What’s important is that you have examined and are clear on what these definitions are for you, and that you haven’t taken someone else’s ideas about success and failure without evaluating whether they really fit who you are.
In my last newsletter I talked about how our goals can serve our lives, rather than simply our lifestyles. If you’ve accepted success and failure definitions by default rather than creating your own definitions, you’re likely to be doing the the latter rather than the former and, ironically, ultimately failing even though it may look like success to others. See the article below to understand more about why most people are doomed to fail (and it’s not only the reason I’ve alluded to here).
Congratulations to Carol Stewart, who won a PDF copy of my book, Stop Procrastinating Now: 5 Radical Procrastination Strategies To Set You Free, from my last newsletter’s drawing!
Yes, dear readers, you weren’t imagining it. There was no July/August ezine issue. At that time I was just graduating with my Ph.D. in Human and Organizational Systems, studying hard to take accreditation examinations to become a LEED Green Associate and a Certified Canadian Sustainability Professional, both of which I accomplished within just over a month after official graduation, and doing a fair amount of traveling. I’ve also been tapped to teach a graduate course in a Sustainability Leadership program at Fielding Graduate University. In less than a week I leave to present my dissertation at a conference in England, the first time I’ll be presenting at such a conference (then a few days of vacation in Northern Ireland visiting friends).
Thank you all for your frequent, encouraging messages about my doctoral study progress. Stay tuned for more details on how things develop.
How are you doing? Honestly, I’d love to hear from you. Is there a subject or question you have in the area of self-leadership, productivity, and effectiveness? Let me know – it may be featured in upcoming newsletters.
Wishing you, as always, optimal procrastivity,
Kerul Kassel, Author of Productive Procrastination - Make It Work For You, Not Against You and the award-winning Stop Procrastinating Now – Five Radical Procrastination Strategies To Set You Free, both available at www.Procrastivity.com
Why Most People Are Doomed To Fail (And How Not To Be One Of Them)
If you read this issue’s Nichepert’s Note, above, you’ll already be familiar with the concept of how neglecting to examine what success and failure mean to you, in your life, can lead to to failure by default. But there is another significant reason why many people fail.
Before we go there, though, remember that it is sometimes said that there are no failures, only lessons learned. And one person’s success is another’s failure (and vice versa). Our greatest growth and progress in life does often arise through an experience of failure. So failure isn’t all bad…but that doesn’t mean we want it or like it wouldn’t prefer to succeed, right?
And that’s a great segue into why most people are doomed to fail. Most people fail simply because they are unwilling to experience what is inevitable when pursuing success: in a word, discomfort. Success is just about always accompanied by self-doubt, of feeling as though you may be incapable, by having to persist, or start over and over and over again, by digging deep for what feels like an interminable slog, of grappling with something difficult. And most people run like hell from those feelings. So they fail to accomplish what they set out to do.
But you don’t have to be one of them. You see, ironically, failure and success have something in common, something you don’t want but that you experience more when you fail than when you succeed: discomfort! Yes. The discomfort of success *and* failure share much of the same characteristics, but with failure you have to experience that discomfort indefinitely.
Recognize that discomfort can be an ally. That awareness helps you to stop resisting discomfort enough to set it aside, press on, and succeed. Another secret is that you’ll feel much more discomfort, and for much longer, when you give up on your goals. Plus, it’s a worse kind of discomfort, one that then has the effect of poisoning your future endeavors.
Trust me, you are capable of *far* more accomplishment and success than you think you are. My clients are testament to that truth.
I’d love to hear about what you’ve accomplished after you think about your definitions of success and failure, and what you have learned about discomfort. Please do email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Want help with understanding and transforming the way you experience discomfort? I have room for 3 new clients starting in October. Email or call right away if you’re interested.
“Successful people are successful because they form the habits of doing those things that failures don’t like to do.” ~ Albert Gray ~
“One only gets to the top rung of the ladder by steadily climbing up one at a time, and suddenly all sorts of powers, all sorts of abilities which you thought never belonged to you–suddenly become within your own possibility and you think, ‘Well, I’ll have a go, too.’” ~ Margaret Thatcher ~
“Not many people are willing to give failure a second opportunity. They fail once and it’s all over. The bitter pill of failure is often more than most people can handle. If you’re willing to accept failure and learn from it, if you’re willing to consider failure as a blessing in disguise and bounce back, you’ve got the potential of harnessing one of the most powerful success forces.” ~ Joseph Sugarman ~